And So It Begins

So something snapped when I turned 40, and it wasn't my bra strap. I looked back at the plans I had for myself when I was my children's age, and it occurred to me how I had consistently chosen forks in the road that led me AWAY from my dreams instead of toward them. I was going to set the world on fire with my prose and my singing voice. What I did was marry young, drop out of college and spend a number of years in underachiever mode. I took jobs that did not require me to grow so I could "concentrate on my writing." I did a lot of journaling about how miserable I was, but didn't write  much of value to anyone else. I have spent most of my adult life beneath the poverty line because I was so dissatisfied with myself I changed jobs often, looking for fulfillment from outside myself. After my marriage ended, I spent a year doing many, many things I swore I would never do. God never let me go, though. He was calling to me in that still, small voice that is impossible to ignore. When I turned back to Him, He brought me a wonderful husband and two children with whom I am well pleased. Things are never perfect when you are prone to depression, but I have a great life. My kids, ages 16 and 14 are exploring what they want to do when they grow up. I am, too. I still feel like I am ready to start my life any day now, if that makes sense. Part of that may be that this world is not my home, and every time I watch the news, I am more hopeful of Christ's imminent return. Mostly, though, I know that my purpose has not yet been fulfilled. I have yet to "sing my song" as some people put it. I don't want to die with the music still inside. The advent of blogging seems custom made for folks like me. I hope that the things I have learned, the stuff I make up, and the feelings I share will encourage, entertain and touch many.
Please feel free to comment on what you read here. Please keep it clean and respectful, even when you disagree. A lively exchange of ideas can be a lot of fun, but only when all the participants feel welcome and valued. (read my posting rules here)