Monday, January 25, 2010

Another Day, Another Battle

Depression seems to be a never ending battle. Like the hydra in Greek mythology, you take off one of its ugly heads and it comes back double. I count my blessings, of which there are many. I contemplate the goodness of God. I take my 5HTP (sort of) regularly. Yet, I have days, sometimes a few together, where life just seems like a never ending travelogue with stops at all my failures and shortcomings.

We all make mistakes. We all fall short of the glory of God, and of what we expect of ourselves. Most of the time I know that the Lord holds none of my past against me, because He extended his forgiveness when I asked. He has promised it is so. Of course the enemy keeps a list. And our own subconscious minds don't forget anything. So I gang up on myself sometimes and get the living daylights beat out of me. I have to remember that my expectations tend to be ridiculously high, so when I don't meet them it's probably not as bad as it seems. I should focus on what I have accomplished rather than what I haven't. That isn't easy for someone like me, but I'll try again. I'm feeling better today than I have for a few days. The coughing and other health issues have not helped my outlook, but I refuse to stay down forever.

If you have gone through depression, or are walking through that valley now, just know that you are not alone. This, too, shall pass. Wake up every morning and know that God has great plans for you today if you can stop looking inward long enough to see them.

My next post will be about the giveaway in April. Nothing big, just an appreciation drawing. The contest is open to everyone who has and will sign up to follow my blog between now and April 15.

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