Tree the Health Nut

Hi, everybody! I've decided I'm not going to wait for New Year's to begin working on my health. Not my weight--my health. I'm never going to be a 21 yr old pole dancer. However, I can be a healthy 40 something with many years left in which to be attractive and busy and have a lot of fun. I stated on Facebook that I would post my beginning stats and before pics. I haven't got the pics taken yet, but here is the lowdown on my size and health.
Weight:  294.0
Bust:  52.25
Midriff:  53.5
Waist:  55.0
Hips/Abdomen:  59.25
Current health issues: depression, inner ear balance problem, thinning hair, sinusitis, water retention (on meds), dry flaky patch on scalp, acne, hydradenitis supparativa (underarm cysts), constipation, occasional urinary incontinence and fatigue. My blood pressure has normalized, I rarely have headaches and my stress level is better since I have been on leave of absence from work and had a few months of counseling. This may be too much information, but I feel that if I can help someone else who is suffering in silence the way I have for years, my slight embarrassment is totally worth it.

Here's the Plan
There is no magic involved. No weird concoctions to drink. This is all common sense that has nothing to do with pharmaceuticals, extreme food manipulation or expensive fake meals on wheels. Basically, just make sure that MOST of the time (like 90%) you eat foods that still resemble their original state. Raw or lightly steamed/stir fried vegetables; raw or lightly stewed fruits; fresh, lean meats without breading or nitrates (in other words not in the form of beef fingers or processed lunch slices); whole grains. No cheap white bread, noodles or white rice; if you want bread, choose only high fiber whole grain bread. A good way to get veggies is to drink V8 juices. That's two servings of veg in one serving of drink!

Speaking of drink, no sodas; not even diet. I'm convinced that many of my imbalances may have originated from my Pepsi addiction. The constant flow of corn syrup, acid and caffeine can't have been good for me. Diet drinks have artifical sweeteners, many of which are questionable if not downright dangerous (see http://www.sweetpoison.com/). If I want something sweet, I will eat fruit or use REAL sugar (brown, honey, molasses, etc). I am convinced that concentrating on consuming foods that were created by God, as close to the way He put them on the planet as possible, I will improve my health in a dramatic way. That's why I am documenting this publicly. I am making myself a guinea pig for all the common sense I have read and known to be true, but never had the courage to really try before. If I can do it, anyone can. I am the most rebellious, self centered, comfort loving person I know. I want what I want when I want it. It's my biggest battle. But I know that the future I want can't happen if I continue in this downward health spiral. Besides the health, I want to look good, too! And I want to help my children establish good habits now, so they don't have to fight the same battles I have with self esteem and anxiety.
Here are some things to keep in mind
*Fruit digests quickly, so it should be eaten on an empty stomach to avoid fermentation and gas. After about 20 minutes, you can eat other foods because the fruit will have passed on into the intestine by then.
*If raw veggies give you painful gas, eat them lightly steamed or pickled. Fermented foods like pickle, saurkraut and kim chee can be eaten at the beginning of your meal to give your digestive system some help with the process. 
*Eat enough! Don't eat until you're stuffed, but eat enough. This kind of eating feels different at the end of the meal than burgers and fries or pizza. You won't feel bloated, so you will feel weird and like you need more even if you're not hungry. Blog about it, pray about it, sit and contemplate it, but don't eat more just to get that familiar stuffed feeling.
*You aren't depriving yourself, you are loving yourself by eating the things your body was designed to run on. I know this is in every diet book ever written, but it's true. You are doing something nice for you! Remember that.

God's Cake

Well, I had a pretty bad couple of days. I had to reschedule my Dr appt because I just felt too crappy to shower and go. My husband always says, "You'll feel better if you shower." He recommends this remedy for sinus, migraine, depression...everything. Showering does make me feel better, but what about when I can't make myself care enough about myself to go do it? Today was better. I heard from my cousin whom I haven't seen in years. She had some good news for me. I also heard from a dear friend I had lost touch with. Another friend sent a great FWD email that I just had to share. It's called "God's Cake" and I have no idea to whom I should give the credit. If the person who originally wrote this happens to read my blog, I apologize for the plagiarism. It's not intentional, and you can feel free to make yourself known by commenting or emailing. Here it is:

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation! A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter. "How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! "
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

Prozac- Uncomfortably Numb

Before he referred me to a therapist, my medical doctor put me on Prozac again. We had tried this years ago. I hated it then. I hate it now. But it does help keep the downs from being so down. I don't know how it is for others, but when I take Prozac, I feel as if I am mummy-wrapped in a fine mesh gauze. There is no such thing anymore as skin to skin contact. I am remote, like I have partially phased out of this plane of existence and experience everything just a nanometer removed. Pray for me, friends, that I will soon be strong enough to do without this bubble wrap protection for my emotions.

I do see progress. The most important thing is the time I spend with my family now. I am having regular devotions. I am singing again...I hope to post video soon of my rendition of "Our Hope Endures" by Natalie Grant. If you haven't heard it, look it up online. It's one of my favorite songs. In the chorus it says, "Let the earth quake, our hope is unchanged." Amen. 

Good Lord! How depressing is it to write about depression?! I could write about the amusing antics of my middle aged cat, but she made me mad today. We forgot to put her out last night, so she left us a smelly lump of poop on the couch as a reminder never to do that again. Cats are vindictive creatures. Anyone who says otherwise either does not know cats, or they are trying to give away kittens. I have been grateful many times over the last two years that we bought a leather couch. Highly recommended if  you have cats, animals or if you never remember to vacuum your cushions. I love my Shadhafur in spite of her annoying eccentricities. Don't tell my husband, but I even love our manipulative prima donna dog, Bandit. He is so prissy, he won't go out in the grass to potty if it's been raining. He'll go on the driveway so he doesn't get his precious paws all wet. Have you EVER? I would wonder about my ability to potty train anything correctly if I didn't have two teenagers who mastered the whole bodily functions thing at an early age.

I started this post 12 hours ago and am finally putting it, and myself, to bed. Jessica and Brian are watching "The Illusionist" AGAIN. It's a wonderful movie. Please watch it if you haven't. Brennan has his best friend over and they are sitting in Brennan's room, four feet from each other, chatting on separate laptops instead of out loud to each other while they go on quests to fight the Horde on World of Warcraft. I have been reading my new "Mother Earth News" issue. I'm looking for relatively easy and inexpensive ways to go solar or wind powered, or both. The electric company is getting more greedy and ridiculous all the time, and I plan to go "off the grid" or at least make the majority of our own energy by this time next year. I'll let you all know how that progresses. I told Brian, again, that I want to get chickens. We eat a lot of eggs when we are doing low-carb.

My yeast killing diet has lasted for 2 days, but I broke down and went to McDonald's tonight due to having company and being too draggy to get to the store today. Back on track tomorrow.

And So It Begins

So something snapped when I turned 40, and it wasn't my bra strap. I looked back at the plans I had for myself when I was my children's age, and it occurred to me how I had consistently chosen forks in the road that led me AWAY from my dreams instead of toward them. I was going to set the world on fire with my prose and my singing voice. What I did was marry young, drop out of college and spend a number of years in underachiever mode. I took jobs that did not require me to grow so I could "concentrate on my writing." I did a lot of journaling about how miserable I was, but didn't write  much of value to anyone else. I have spent most of my adult life beneath the poverty line because I was so dissatisfied with myself I changed jobs often, looking for fulfillment from outside myself. After my marriage ended, I spent a year doing many, many things I swore I would never do. God never let me go, though. He was calling to me in that still, small voice that is impossible to ignore. When I turned back to Him, He brought me a wonderful husband and two children with whom I am well pleased. Things are never perfect when you are prone to depression, but I have a great life. My kids, ages 16 and 14 are exploring what they want to do when they grow up. I am, too. I still feel like I am ready to start my life any day now, if that makes sense. Part of that may be that this world is not my home, and every time I watch the news, I am more hopeful of Christ's imminent return. Mostly, though, I know that my purpose has not yet been fulfilled. I have yet to "sing my song" as some people put it. I don't want to die with the music still inside. The advent of blogging seems custom made for folks like me. I hope that the things I have learned, the stuff I make up, and the feelings I share will encourage, entertain and touch many.
Please feel free to comment on what you read here. Please keep it clean and respectful, even when you disagree. A lively exchange of ideas can be a lot of fun, but only when all the participants feel welcome and valued. (read my posting rules here)