On the Edge Peeking Over

The sheer magnificence of our God and His creation can sometimes take my breath away. I don't know if 2010 will be the year of Christ's return, but I want to live as if it is. This body, this mind, my family, my home, this opportunity to pursue the desire of my heart...all these things show me His love for me. Not His love for all humanity, but just for me. Like an ardent lover He woos us individually with special sights, like this rainbow; with small answered prayers that no one else would even care to hear about; with gentle comfort in sadness. He deserves our worship and awe, but He desires our love. Make this the year you turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full on His wonderful face. Make this the year you fall in love with the Lover of your soul.

The Original AVATAR

My family and I went to see the much-hyped James Cameron movie "Avatar." It was beautiful, and contained many not-so-subtle moral lessons. I am second to none in my realization that sometimes nations and men are blinded by their purpose and stomp all over anyone who gets in their way. It is tragic and un-Christian. However, to continually beat ourselves over the head with the perceived guilt of our forbears serves little purpose. That is also un-Christian. Jesus, the original Avatar, taught us to forgive others and ourselves. We cannot go forward with any real integrity unless we are able to leave the past in the past. What has been done cannot be changed with any number of belated apologies or entitlements.

Jesus came to Earth to free us from this kind of insidious manipulation by the enemy. Satan wants us to remain captive to our insecurity, greed, lust and fear. If we can look at our mistakes and sins without rationalizing, and without self-flagellation, then give them to the One Who has already cast them into the sea of forgetfulness, we can finally learn to walk free like He did.

The God Who was and is and is to come, poured Himself into His creation. He designed this beautiful world with us in mind. He could have made it any way He pleased, but He made it to please us. He gave us senses and emotions to truly enjoy the works of His hands. Like a lover who wants to give everything He is to the one He loves, God waits to see your reaction. Will you acknowledge His love and sacrifice? When it became clear that we would tend to get caught up in ourselves and wander from His beautiful plan for us, He, Himself, came down in the form of one of us. Like the avatars in the movie, He wanted to experience life the way we do. He wanted to relate to us and have us relate to Him. It's easier to understand Him as Jesus, the man, because we are human. We have never been omnipotent gods, and could not always grasp what He wanted us to know. He came in human form to get closer to us, and allow us to get closer to Him. What a great God we have.

The Evils of Procrastination: or The Story of My Life

I cannot tell a lie. I am a procrastinator extraordinaire. Ask my husband. Heck, ask Mama. It's one of my besetting sins. I have known for a while that I sabotage myself in a lot of sneaky little ways. Procrastination is one of them. If I can't do something perfectly, or I'm afraid I can't do it well, I just put it off until it is a non-issue or until I can further hate myself over the whole thing. My therapist and I have talked at length about my self-loathing. I feel like I have to show everybody just how flawed I am, even myself. I thought I was out on a limb with this weird behavior until I read this post from a FlyLady fan. It helped me realize how destructive my procrastination has been to me and those I love. It keeps me at arms length from everyone because I am always either having to finish up what should have already been done, letting them down because I didn't keep a promise, or making me hide because I didn't measure up...AGAIN.

The Lord is my life and my salvation. Whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?

I am not afraid to share these feelings with you, readers, because I believe I am not alone in this self-loathing. I believe it is becoming more and more part of the human condition. As we see  people debase themselves on TV just for money or fame; as we hear of people doing horrible demeaning things to their own children who trusted them; as we get closer to being animals and farther away from being God's children we take this horror into ourselves even when we are not the perpetrators. Pray with me that we can see ourselves as the Lord sees us...covered in His Son's blood and beautiful. We are beloved children for whom He created an entire world of wonder. He loves us so much and wants us to love Him back. But how can we when we feel failed and unlovable? Whole websites are devoted to watching people fail and hurt themselves (failblog.com). Whole websites are devoted to mocking and ridiculing people caught in embarrassing moments when maybe they felt down on themselves and didn't bother to dress up to go to the store (peopleofwalmart.com). Granted, some of those people really should have looked in a mirror, but still... This constant stream of tearing one another down only tears us down as well. Let's reach for something higher. Let's follow Abraham Lincoln's motto, "If you look for the good in people, you will find it." In doing so, we can find the good in ourselves and see what it is that God loves us for.

Keep it Simple

I am re-reading the book Living With Less by Mark Tabb. I understand why folks say they are sickened by "The America Way." But we have no one to blame but ourselves. Think about it. We are all in debt because we want more stuff than we can really afford. We want this stuff because the advertisers have spent a lot of money telling us how wonderful our lives will be if we have it. Besides, everybody else has it. Is it the advertisers' fault? No. If the ads didn't work, if we didn't go spend the money, they would quit doing it. We can't blame the ad companies or pop culture spreaders any more than we can blame the government for our materialism. The desire for more is human nature. God gave us minds to think about decisions before we make them, so we don't have to be slaves to that urge to grasp for more. The capitalist system is not responsible for greed in America any more than the NRA is responsible for gang related shooting deaths. Individual responsibility has to come into play somewhere. We want to blame someone or something else, but the fact is we choose most of what happens in our lives. If we refuse to make a choice, that is also a choice to let things happen instead. If you don't like greed, start by looking into your own heart and root out the greed there. Live more simply yourself and be an example to others of the lower stress and higher level of quiet joy that can be had. Don't expect the government to legislate to others something you are not willing to do and espouse yourself. So. In many ways I am preaching to myself. We have a lot of stuff. Stuff I don't even see anymore because it's in boxes stored away. The next project at the Johnston household is to go through the stuff and only keep what we really love, need and use. The point of life is not the stuff we have. Our stuff has nothing to do with who we are. Our relationships define us. God created humanity because He wanted somoeone to love Him of their own free will. Did you ever wonder why He gave us a choice when He knew we would abuse it? Think about it. Would you want a love that was coerced or given mindlessly from someone who didn't know they could choose any other way? Of course not. We all want to be loved by someone who has a choice and chose us. How much more the God Who created us? So what are you doing with your free will? Don't give it away to pop culture or the propaganda of the hour. THINK and CHOOSE. Don't drift and wind up where everybody else is going.

Chivalry is Not Dead

My darling 16-yr-old daughter may have a boyfriend on the horizon. Unlike the girls on most TV shows, she has never actively sought a boyfriend. She says she is having too much fun with her friends (girls AND guys) and has too much schoolwork to worry about it much. I'd like to think our parenting had something to do with her healthy attitude, but we owe much of it to her own levelheadedness, and a lot to God's anwers to prayer.

Anyway, the other day this boy who sits at their lunch table got up and went clear across the cafeteria to get her a chair without being asked. Then the last two days he has asked to carry her books to class. She said he is shy, but really nice. He's cute, too! (She showed me his pic in the yearbook.) I didn't know boys still asked girls if they could carry their books. I'm quite encouraged. Moms, if you worry about who your kids will end up with in life, and you want them to find a love of a lifetime, start praying NOW! I've been praying for my kids' spouses since they were born. In my youth I made some poor decisions, and had my share of heartbreak. I know I can't keep my kids from ever being hurt, but I can pray that at least they will have a trustworthy, like-minded companion to be with them through it all. Drama is way overrated. I am so glad to have been with Brian for the last 17 years. We've known each other for 31 years, and we have more fun now than ever. There's a lot to be said for really KNOWING someone, warts and all. And for letting them know you, and accept you anyway. Isn't that what we all want? If you don't currently have a human being in your life to give you that kind of acceptance, please know that the Lord knows every intimate detail of your life and thoughts, and He loves you anyway! He will accept you if you turn to Him. If anything about you needs fixing, He will take care of it in His own time if you let Him. The important part is just giving yourself to Him. He'll do the rest.