The Evils of Procrastination: or The Story of My Life

I cannot tell a lie. I am a procrastinator extraordinaire. Ask my husband. Heck, ask Mama. It's one of my besetting sins. I have known for a while that I sabotage myself in a lot of sneaky little ways. Procrastination is one of them. If I can't do something perfectly, or I'm afraid I can't do it well, I just put it off until it is a non-issue or until I can further hate myself over the whole thing. My therapist and I have talked at length about my self-loathing. I feel like I have to show everybody just how flawed I am, even myself. I thought I was out on a limb with this weird behavior until I read this post from a FlyLady fan. It helped me realize how destructive my procrastination has been to me and those I love. It keeps me at arms length from everyone because I am always either having to finish up what should have already been done, letting them down because I didn't keep a promise, or making me hide because I didn't measure up...AGAIN.

The Lord is my life and my salvation. Whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?

I am not afraid to share these feelings with you, readers, because I believe I am not alone in this self-loathing. I believe it is becoming more and more part of the human condition. As we see  people debase themselves on TV just for money or fame; as we hear of people doing horrible demeaning things to their own children who trusted them; as we get closer to being animals and farther away from being God's children we take this horror into ourselves even when we are not the perpetrators. Pray with me that we can see ourselves as the Lord sees us...covered in His Son's blood and beautiful. We are beloved children for whom He created an entire world of wonder. He loves us so much and wants us to love Him back. But how can we when we feel failed and unlovable? Whole websites are devoted to watching people fail and hurt themselves (failblog.com). Whole websites are devoted to mocking and ridiculing people caught in embarrassing moments when maybe they felt down on themselves and didn't bother to dress up to go to the store (peopleofwalmart.com). Granted, some of those people really should have looked in a mirror, but still... This constant stream of tearing one another down only tears us down as well. Let's reach for something higher. Let's follow Abraham Lincoln's motto, "If you look for the good in people, you will find it." In doing so, we can find the good in ourselves and see what it is that God loves us for.

Hope for the Hopeless

According to my therapist (and my husband before her), I tend to be really hard on myself. Other people I can forgive, live and let live, encourage...Me, I must be perfect or nothing at all. I'm not entirely sure where that came from, but I know it can be overcome. So many things in my life have been abandoned or never started because I knew I didn't have the skill or the time to "do it right (i.e.perfectly)." And as we all know, if it's worth doing, it's worth doing RIGHT!! Well, not necessarily. Many things just need to be DONE and it doesn't really matter if it's done perfectly. For your own sanity, if you struggle with this, I beg you...take the advice of the NIKE shoe company and just do it. If it turns out badly, at least it got done. At least it isn't still sitting in your inbox making you feel guilty with its incompleteness. You folks know who you are and you know the kinds of things I'm talking about. "I can't clean out the utility room because I don't have the right kind of trash bag. I can't start writing that book, because I have to regrout my tile; but I can't do that till I get to the store for more grout; but I can't go to the store because I haven't showered today..." YOU know.

Okay, so what's the one thing that's putting the biggest guilt trip on you? Get up right now and TAKE ONE SMALL STEP toward getting it done. Yep. You don't have to get it all done right now, just do something so you know that you WILL get it done. You will feel so much better. I promise.